While we were visiting my family someone asked me how I introduce Melissa and I said “as my wife”.  They went on to ask if I do that even in the south and called me “unapologetic about it”.  My instant thought was, why on earth would I be apologetic about who I am, who I love, or who I’m married to.

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t always so brazen or honest. Even when one of my best friends told me he was gay…I replied with something along the lines of “oh, I already knew that” rather than an honest “me too!”.

For that matter only a very select handful of people knew when I moved to California. Then of course I took the easy way out and sent an email.  I think I was always scared of losing friends or family members, but eventually realized that someone who can’t love me as a person, and accept that we have differences isn’t likely someone I want to spend a lot of time with anyway. Don’t get me wrong, I lost friends I wish I still had – we had some pretty good times together when I was “secret-gay” (ie – no different than I am now, they just didn’t know), but now it’s just awkward.

I’m actually pretty lucky, the way was paved for me, by some brave family members who couldn’t use email, or had to even use snail mail, many years ago.  I’m even luckier that I (we) have people who stand beside us, love us, and maintain amazing relationships with us!

While I might need to apologize for somethings – who I am is not one of them.

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2 thoughts on “Unapologetic

  1. “Even in the south” it’s the 21st C. If people aren’t aware of the fact the world had changed, I’ve started believing that being unapologetic is a blessed opportunity to usher them into this millennium. Some people walk willingly b/c they’ve just been waiting for someone to walk with them.

    Others I drag, kicking and screaming. But they get used to it. 🙂

    Love and honesty isn’t always “agreeing” with one another. It’s just being open to the idea that we are all so unique and so diverse that we will always have things to share with one another.

    Relationships aren’t about becoming like one another; they’re about celebrating life with one another. A lesson I wish I had learned long ago, but will never take for granted again.

    Those who walk away are missed for sure, but I wouldn’t trade my small group of true friends for a shallow mass of popularity ever.

    Much love to the Cotton family!

  2. OMG, I feel you totally! I have a best friend who loves me but does not agree with my lifestyle and now that she is married, her in-laws do not want her kids around me. It is so hard because I was there before they were even in the picture– when they in fact wanted my bff to abort their grandchild and when she did not, didn’t support her for 2 years yet I did… but now I am not good enough?! It’s crazy! I too have grown so much and proud of who I am and of my family. My daughter is not my biological daughter but she is still mine! I eat, sleep and breathe that little girl and always will no matter what may happen between her mother and I. I love her mother to death and she will be my wife one day but you can never predict the future so… Keep your head up girl, this too shall pass. Those types of people I just add to my prayer list because they have so much to learn. I am so glad I found your blog, I love that I can relate!!!


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