While we were visiting my family someone asked me how I introduce Melissa and I said “as my wife”. They went on to ask if I do that even in the south and called me “unapologetic about it”. My instant thought was, why on earth would I be apologetic about who I am, who I love, or who I’m married to.
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t always so brazen or honest. Even when one of my best friends told me he was gay…I replied with something along the lines of “oh, I already knew that” rather than an honest “me too!”.
For that matter only a very select handful of people knew when I moved to California. Then of course I took the easy way out and sent an email. I think I was always scared of losing friends or family members, but eventually realized that someone who can’t love me as a person, and accept that we have differences isn’t likely someone I want to spend a lot of time with anyway. Don’t get me wrong, I lost friends I wish I still had – we had some pretty good times together when I was “secret-gay” (ie – no different than I am now, they just didn’t know), but now it’s just awkward.
I’m actually pretty lucky, the way was paved for me, by some brave family members who couldn’t use email, or had to even use snail mail, many years ago. I’m even luckier that I (we) have people who stand beside us, love us, and maintain amazing relationships with us!
While I might need to apologize for somethings – who I am is not one of them.