Cozy Duped

For a while I really wanted to get Loren a Cozy Coupe. I just knew she would love it, and she does. She loves to be chauffeured around in it.

It started almost immediately – while Grandma and Grandpa were visiting we assembled it, including the foot board (that comes with it for little kids who can’t drive themselves so their feet don’t drag). She LOVED it when Grandma walked her around the neighborhood.

Then, Uncle Erik came – she had him wrapped around her little finger long before he landed – and every night she would bring him his shoes, pile into the cozy coupe and they would go on a 20 minute walk.

He had no idea what he was getting himself into!

A few days after he left, I took the foot board out – she LOST HER MIND and eventually we put it back in. Did I mention she also insisted that the coupe live in our living room? She treated our television like a drive in movie.

Yesterday, she piled into the coupe and begged  (in her little toddler way) to go for a walk. So, we walked – like 200 feet and I called BS – I don’t know how Uncle Erik and Grandma did it, but I need to be about 2 inches shorter for this to not break my back.

So, we pulled over, I pulled the foot board out and you guessed it –  she lost her mind.

Here’s what I know for sure – the foot board has “disappeared”, there are no more chauffeured rides, and from hence forth the coupe lives outside.

This is the look you get when you ruin a toddlers whole day by refusing to drive her around!

This is her throwing a fit in the grass, there was also flailing and sitting and pouting. (She yelled NO at me for taking a photo!)

Realizing the fit throwing isn’t working, trying put the foot board back in on her own!

Showing me how it’s done!

After a while she gave up – she refused to get back in, but she stopped trying to put the kick board back in and filled the coupe with mulch instead.

I hid the board and parked the cozy coupe in her “garage” with the tricycle (which is great for pushing her on!) and the 4 wheeler she can’t steer…Lord help me when she turns 16…I imagine I’ll just repost this same blog!

Hanging out in her “garage”.

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Lend Me Your…Eye

When Loren was first born I was REALLY good at photos. We would have them made, I would immediately order prints and mail them off to grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, Romans and countrymen.  Sometime around 18 months I fell off the photo bandwagon, I was still taking them…I just wasnt doing anything with them. A few weeks ago I made a promise to family everywhere that I would finally order Loren’s 18 month prints. And I totally did. I even packaged them, addressed them and now they are sitting in a bag waiting to be mailed.

And then I remembered there were a few others I should mail while I was doing it, so I’m going to order those today.

And then I remembered I promised you, my faithful, non-judgmental, bloggy friends photos from the Strawberry Festival.

In pulling photos for you guys I also realized that apparently Melissa took the majority of the photos this day (which is fairly atypical) and the only ones of her are on the carousel…with a pole in her face. Awesome.

Posing (On the Worlds tiniest Carousel)

Melissa’s “best” photo of the day! Loren having a blast on the carousel.

You can’t go to a strawberry festival and not eat strawberries all day!

Meeting Strawberry Shortcake (not as cool as a certain Mouse apparently!)

Loren and Mama

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Yogurt: Revisited

Loren finally popped one of her two top teeth over the weekend and spent the rest of the weekend gnawing on anything she could to alleviate some of the pain she’s feeling from other teeth trying to pop through.

Yes, she should have gotten her two front teeth (cue music) over a yeah ago…but that’s just not how she rolls.

Last week – was beautiful, she was not teething, she was in a great mood and best of all she slept until almost 7:30 (OR LATER, some days). That all ended on Saturday, she started waking up early, moody (ie – more sensitive than usual), and a little bipolar at times.

This morning, Monday (my least favorite day of the week) – she woke up at 5:55am (also known as – holy cow why won’t my eyes open are the glued together oclock).

She was patient enough to let me use the bathroom and brush my teeth. I also filled a sippy cup with milk, stirred some yogurt, and flung it all onto her high chair before I retrieved her cuteness from her crib.

In her defense, there was no chance she was going back to sleep because (as she told me) – “Poo Poo”.

I queued MMCH, plopped her into the high chair and she started to scream, like bath fizzy/Freddy Krueger in the bathtub scenario from a few months ago (on a side note – she loves those stupid bath fizzies now!).

Me: Loren, it’s yogurt…you love yogurt!

Loren: AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Me: Will you just try one bite?

Loren: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhblahalijlszk,lokinhuytowhraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Me; Would you like some watermelon instead?

Loren (the most pathetic/pitiful/eeyore like answer): ahh…yeah

So, I cut up some watermelon, put puffs in one slot and yogurt in the third.

Can you guess what she ate first? The yogurt.

Of course she ate EVERY BITE of the little slot of yogurt and asked for more!

In the end, she ate the entire container of yogurt (via the little slot), the majority of the watermelon and two scoops of puffs.

And then she smiles at me like this and all is forgotten.


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She Keeps Growing

Don’t forget to enter the giveaway – it closes in a few hours. I will post the winner as an update to the original post!


Despite every effort to keep my baby a baby, she’s definitely a toddler, and she’s trying really freaking hard to become a kid.

We were watching an episode of MMCH (who’s shocked by this? I didnt think so!) and it’s an episode where Daisy is going to perform in a dance show but forgets the dance. So, the entire episode is a lot of repeating the dance moves.

Loren hopped down, stood in front of the TV (sippy cup in hand…and sometimes mouth).

Daisy said: Jump forwards

and she did.

Daisy said: Jump backwards

and she did.

Daisy said: Clap clap clap

and she did (even while holding a sippy cup!)

Daisy said: Slide to one side.

and she did.

Daisy said: Slide to the other side.


I was compelled to cry over such a little thing – since when can my kid dance, on command, from the TV?

Her new favorite thing is to go hide in a corner, do her business and immediately come tell Melissa, in the most serious tone “poo poo”. I love this – mostly because she always tells Melissa and not me! 🙂

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Non-Sibling Rivalry

Last week at Toddlers Love Music a little boy came over and sat in Melissa’s lap. Loren lost.her.mind. when it happened – “umm hello, that’s my lap NOT YOURS”.

I had forgotten about this until yesterday when Melissa said “Loren doesn’t want a younger sibling…or an older sibling (if we were to adopt) or even a sibling that’s her age” – umm what?  I was confused and asked for further clarification, since ya know, we have no plans of expanding further!

Apparently, this week at Toddlers Love Music the little lap sitting boy was seriously on Loren’s poop list. If he came within 3 feet of Melissa she would run over and sandwich her way between them. She had clearly not forgotten last week.

She knows her place, she knows her people, and she knows what she likes (or doesn’t like…rather!). When anything is askew or different she sort of cocks her head to the side and gives you a sly little grin.

This morning she refused to eat breakfast until Aunt Kitty cleaned the kitchen…she kept looking at things going “uh oh”….

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Lizard Face (It’s Time For a Giveaway!): CLOSED



Comment #4 – Kristy Holton___________________________________________________________________________________

You guys, I got sun burned AGAIN – for the third time in as many months.  I swear this time I put sun block on…well on my face at least and once again my face, arms, neck and chest burned. Of course my arms, neck and chest didn’t have a fighting chance…but my poor face should have been OK.

When I look at Loren’s perfect skin it makes me want to kick myself. I’m so thankful that she’s so patient and lets me put sunblock on her with no fight (she even helps!).

Last week, I saw a wrinkle crease under my eye and I nearly had a heart attack. I can’t be getting wrinkles creases yet, I’m only 31 and I already have to battle dark circles (thanks to genetics…thanks Mom!) So, I started thinking about my skin care regiment.

It didn’t take me long to think about it, because I honestly don’t have one. I usually go to sleep with make up on, which would make my dermatologist (if I had one) cry as it does my optometrist when he asks me every year if I sleep with eye make up on and then lectures me about it through his sobs.

So, I’m going to start washing my face before bed – it’s the least I can do for my face, my optometrist and my non-existent dermatologist.  Maybe I’ll even start moisturizing…and remembering to sunblock myself when I put it on Loren…

I really don’t want to look like “the tanning mom”.

AND NOW, it’s time for a giveaway!!!!


I rarely get the chance to do give aways, but you guys have been so great and so loyal (and always clicking the banner to vote for us!) that I wanted to Thank You, and this is the only way I know how! Besides, this prize is perfect for my recently found creases…I’m actually jealous I have to give it to you and I can’t keep it for myself!

Last week I Facebooked that I was looking for some of my small business owner friends to donate a prize and my friend Karen quickly stepped up to the plate! (I should mention that she was the ONLY person to step up to the plate…so “the plate”  shall be renamed in her honor! Shame on the rest of you…you guys know who you are!).

Karen is an independent consultant for Rodan+Fields (the makers of ProActiv) and has so generously donated a Mufti-Function Eye Cream (Which retails for $59.99!!).

Doctors Rodan & Fields, the creators of  ProActiv Solution, have recently launched a new prescription based skincare line just for anti-aging! One of the hottest products within the anti-age line is the Multi-Function Eye Cream.

This eye cream combines powerful peptides to minimize the appearance of crow’s feet, help reduce the appearance of both puffiness and dark under eye circles while special optical diffusers instantly brighten the eye area.

Enter to win a free full size today and you’ll see why NBC’s  Today Show voted these products the “Must Have in Anti-Aging Products for 2011.”
  • PRIZE: Mufti-Function Eye Cream (Retail  $59.99!!)
  • TO ENTER: Two entries per email address, increase your chances by completing both steps!

    1. Visit Karen’s site ( – come back here and leave a comment about the product that most interests you. If you already use Rodan & Fields products you can tell us which product is your favorite.
    2.  Leave a separate comment and tell us about your skin care regiment, is it as bad as mine? (Please let someone stink at this as much as I do!)
  • GIVEAWAY CLOSES: Friday, May 25th at 12 pm (Noon) PST or at 1,000 entries (whichever comes first)
  • PRIZE SHIPS: US and Canada (Sorry everyone else…maybe next time?)
  • THE FINE PRINT: Two entries per e-mail address. The winner will be selected using and announced on Friday after the contest closes as an update to this post.

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How to Pick Up Another Mother.

Over the weekend, Melissa started sharing her experiences at the park, toddlers love music and anywhere else moms like to congregate. I quickly said that would be a great blog post and yesterday I suckered her into writing it. Check out Melissa’s expose on Stay at Home Moms below!


Because I have summers off and get off each day at an early hour, I often run into stay at home moms.

Let me start with, I admire stay at home moms.  I couldn’t do it.  I spend 3 hours alone with Loren M-F and it’s tiring.  She is a ball of energy that needs constant attention/supervision.  And to be honest its boring.  Moms don’t like to admit this, but it is true.  I can only pretend to cook fake pizza in a fake frying pan in a fake sink so many times.

There is a seedy underbelly to being a stay at home mom that people don’t talk about.  Sometimes what appears to the outside world as being good parenting is really an excuse to drop a pickup line.

This is why moms go to parks, children’s museums, and play areas in malls.  You’re thinking, “great, this gives mom and child some variety.”  Oh but you would be wrong, this is the deep secret I’ve discovered about stay at home moms.  They do these things to pick up dates, not for the kids. Really, what 6 month old cares if they are seeing shiny things at home or at the local mall?

These children’s activities are just excuses to date other moms.  The park is like the mom version of going to a bar.  They know there will be other mothers there and they assume they have at least two things in common: kids and location because they are at the same park.  Moms go to the park to meet other moms because to be frank children aren’t amusing enough to keep anyone entertained all day every day.

The courting that goes on at a park is something you have to see to fully appreciate, but it usually goes something like this:

A woman gets to the park and looks for children around her child’s age.  She sets up camp as close to those children as possible. [This would be the equivalent of looking around the bar for the most attractive person]

She gets her child squared away: sand toys, swing, whatever it doesn’t matter.  [This is like ordering your drink, you don’t really care what you are drinking, you’re there to hook up]

Typically, the mom will drop some sort of pickup line, like “omg that outfit is soooooo cute”, “your baby’s eyes are so blue”, “how do you like your stroller,” etc.  This breaks the ice to see if the other mom is open to a new relationship. [This is like, well like saying a pickup line]

If they are both on the prowl one will ask the other how old her child is.  This is always the 1st question and it’s important.  You can’t mommy date someone whose child is not close in age to your own; it just doesn’t work.  The kids can’t play and it makes play dates (aka mommy dates) impossible.  [It would be like a girl dating a gay guy in the long run it just doesn’t work.]

Once it is determined that the child is an appropriate age the dance really gets going.  Small talk is made as they feel each other out.  This is typically where I get dumped as a non-stay at home mom. [It’s also that point where at a bar you realize that the hot guy/girl isn’t taken because they are a raving lunatic.]

Inevitably, a child poops or starts crying for no good reason and a mom has to leave. [Like when you’re friend gets drunk and pukes on him/herself.]  And they get caught in this awkward uncomfortable should I ask you for your phone number moment.

Some moms skip the bar seen and speed date (join mommy groups).  Who knew that dating while you were married was such an acceptable practice?

So fear not single/childless blog readers.  Even after you’ve finally found Mr. or Mrs. Right, there is still plenty of dating in your future.

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Green Goop

When I got home on Friday, Melissa and Loren had just vacuumed.  Afterwards, they took the vacuum cleaner apart to figure out which type of bag we needed to order…they both looked like they had been punched in the face.

There noses were red, faces were puffy and they were both sneezing – that’s when I took over the ordering process. These two and their allergies – I’m not sure they will survive Spring.

Melissa’s head ache finally cleared up but Loren kept sneezing and looking pathetic. So much so that we skipped swim lesson on Saturday because we feared she  might actually be getting sick.

By Saturday afternoon the sneezing continued, but had made a friend. Her right eye started to water and produce green eye goop. GREEN?

My doctor friend, Dr. Google (the smartest “person” i know…) – scared us with all sorts of scary things and we vowed if it continued we would call the pediatrician Monday morning.

Sunday, Loren slept in (CRAP – maybe she really is getting sick!?), when she got up there was pretty much no sneezing…but her eye was still dripping and gooping. We headed off to the Strawberry Festival.  She did great and had so much fun! She met Strawberry Shortcake (who didn’t hold a candle to the mouse), she rode the tiniest carousel, and ate strawberries until her heart was content.  She didn’t nap on the drive home, although she was very good, she also wouldn’t allow me to nap (not cool kid…no cool!).

I planned to show you Strawberry Festival photos…but I couldn’t find the cord to the camera this morning. I did take one photo with my phone, she was making a weird face, and you can see how crusty her eye was (win win!).

When we got home she was so tired it was really cute! She lounged around until bath time and fell asleep in my arms (a rarity these days!).

I’m happy to report that there was no goop this morning and she woke up in a great mood!

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Let’s Give Em Something to Talk About

Last week Melissa gave me a weird look and said – “I just stumbled upon a blog where the mom seems to be bragging about her poor parenting skills”.  She wasn’t really judging, so much as making an observation.

We live in a new world where it’s OK to say anything and there’s always someone who will listen and let’s be honest, if there’s a wow factor people flock to it. I imagine this mom has readers, because she continues to blog – I’m not sure why other parent’s would be drawn to a blog like that – maybe it makes them feel better about their short comings or maybe it has a comical spin on it.

I’m fine with the fact that she’s a “bad mom”, but  I would hope that she uses these experiences to become better, more so than just flaunt it on the internet.  No part of me thinks any parent is perfect (including this one!), some posts about how we’ve handled things show how we’re constantly learning and still have a comical aspect – but I do think that since Loren was born my rolls have changed to mom, wife, and then employee, that kid is the most important thing in the World, and nothing I do for her is a joke!

Disclaimer: This post isn’t about any specific blog, it just so happens that one blog spurred a conversation and got me to thinking!

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I Secretly Hoped our Daughter was a Sociopath

A guest post from the Mrs.  – See you on Monday! x Darcie


I was told that I was slacking, that I promised to help with this blog, and that I needed to start helping because I’ve only written one blog in the last year.

I think Darcie just wants to see who gets better ratings me or her.  Fine honey, the gauntlet has been thrown.


I enjoy being prepared.  I would have made a good boy scout.  I like to know what is coming and how to deal with it.

Need to distill water from your urine.  I have you covered.

With this in mind, I knew that our cute cuddly baby would eventually turn into a spirited toddler.  When Loren was around 13 months old, I started reading books about raising toddlers and reading mommy blogs about the different obstacles I was about to face.  And I did learn a few things.  Like the terrible twos, they usually start around 18 months.  WTH I needed to get a game plan stat. I was going to be prepared!

I didn’t need to read a book to know that toddlers have big emotions.  Bigger than they can handle.  Thus, the terrible twos.  I was ready for the tantrums, the fit throwing won’t-get-off-the-Wal-mart-floor, kicking, biting, and yelling.  I was ready for her to yell, “NO!” to everything.

What I wasn’t ready for was Loren.  She’s so… sensitive.  Does she disobey? Of course.  On purpose? Of course. Does she scream “NO?” Of course.  This is all par for the course.  I’ve got my game plan.  She disobeys.  I have three options, redirect, try to positively steer her towards making a good decision, or sternly correct her.

Number three is where the plan fails.  Sometimes situations call for quick fast correction.  No, you may not run out into the street.  No, you may not take Mommy’s $150 sunglasses and see how far the arms bend out.  No, you may not open the hot oven and put your head inside.

I was ready for the stubborn-foot-stomping-house-shaking fits.  I was not ready for the sudden you-just-crushed-my-soul-broke-my-heart sobbing.  She’s not mad about being corrected nor fighting back; she is devastated that she has done something to upset me so badly.  She cries and sobs and immediately wants to cling to Mommy or Mama.  It’s heart wrenching.

I secretly hoped that our daughter was a sociopath.  I hoped, I didn’t just crush her heart, and that really she learned to manipulate people already.  All hopes of my daughter being mentally deranged ended yesterday with an episode of Mickey Mouse Club House (see previous post about her obsession with this show).

I wasn’t paying a lot of attention (I’m not a huge MMCH fan).  And all of a sudden, Loren burst out with a sob the likes of which I cannot explain.  I jumped up and examined her for injury.  She was sobbing and yammering in her Loren-speak no one understands.  I could find nothing wrong, when I notice her pointing at the TV.

A new puppy was on the show and Pluto wasn’t getting the attention he needed and left sad and dejected.  She was sobbing because Pluto was sad, even once the MMCH crew made up with him, my daughter was still sobbing lightly in my arms.

Now, I find myself unprepared with a sensitive child whose heart I break into a million little pieces every time I have to use my mommy voice.   You win child, you win.


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