The Day I Quit My Job and We Started Living Under a Bridge

I never made it a secret that after my baby bonding time ended that I had no interest in coming back to work. The bonding had worked and there was nothing I wanted to do more than stay home with that adorable, cooing, infant every. single. day.

That is, until I came back to work and that adorable infant became an adorable, strong willed, very energetic toddler. My tune change from “I want to stay home with Loren” to “Oh my gosh, how does Aunt Kitty do this alone for 6 hours every day?” – On weekends Melissa and I can double team her – and that works great!.

This morning, Loren was laying it on really thick. She almost had me quit my job on the spot – with three little words.

“Mom! Wait! Play!?”

I know, they are simple  – but she’s never said so  many words at once, that…ya know…made sense! For that matter, I can’t say I’ve ever heard her say “wait”.

So yeah…I left the house in tears, thinking how much fun we would have playing all day. Of course, I’m exhausted just thinking about how much energy she zapped out of me yesterday!


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Things I Used to Love

Yesterday someone asked me what my hobbies were and what I did for fun. (No, I’m not dating…it’s a new coworker…calm down people!).

Anyway, I could only think of things I used to enjoy doing- mostly craft related things like scrapbooking, reading a  book etc.  When it comes down to it – I don’t have time to do any of those things anymore. At first I was a little bummed out at the thought that becoming a parent had taken away all of those THINGS I used to enjoy.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that I don’t really care about THINGS. I truly don’t mind that I’ve spent every Saturday for the last 14 months sitting at the side of a pool watching Loren’s swim lesson or that I drink pretend tea and eat pretend food or that I constantly have songs from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse swirling in my head (currently: “at Minnnnnnnies Booooooowtique!) – my life is more fulfilled by this little girl and the things she enjoys doing than it ever was by a scrapbook.

Truth be told – I wouldn’t mind eating a meal without someone picking food off my plate or “urgently” needing me to “help” her do something…but I don’t really even mind that…too much! I have a feeling Melissa feels the same way! (Of course when we branch out from pretend food and Loren tries to feed us real things like goldfish – it gets a little scary for my gluten-intolerant wife!)


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Smarty Pants

Every night this week Loren has completely melted down when it’s time for bath. Have I mentioned how much she used to love bath time?

I realize that she gotten smart and now she knows that bath time means the end of play time and that bath time also means bed time.

After screaming through the worlds quickest bath and getting her teeth  brushed – I met them at the bathroom door with her cuddly giraffe and a binky. She let me dress her without incident, but when it was time to read she wanted both of us to stay. So, there we were – Loren, the giraffe and I in the rocker and Melissa standing next to us, unable to move, because the toddler had a death grip on her hand (her other hand had a death grip on a giraffes tail).

Last night, for the first time in 8 beautiful months, she cried when we put her in her bed. It didn’t last long, but it was just pitiful enough to tug at my heart strings a little.

She is so happy and peaceful when we are out and about, she doesn’t embarrass us in public (yet), but man she is on a crazy toddler kick when we are at home.

Melissa and I were figuring it out and it would appear that Loren has gotten one tooth a week for the last 8 weeks. I guess I would be moody and crazy too.

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Negative Nelly

Who taught my daughter the “N” word? Not THAT “N” word…the other one.

Yesterday I asked Loren if she knew who was coming to see her  and told her Aunt Kitty was coming – her reply: NO. (she LOVES Aunt Kitty, and usually ignores her moms when she’s around)

I got home, she met me at the car, “drove” for a few minutes – I told her we needed to go inside – her reply: NO.

I offered her a cake pop (a special treat – since it was her first day without me in 10), her reply: NO (who turns down cake on a stick!?)

Loren, do you want dinner? (NO.)

Loren, are you ready for your bath? (NO.) (She loves bath time…and she truly did not want to take one…she through a fit through the entire thing…she was finally happy once all of the water had drained!)

This morning, I prepped breakfast (sippy of milk, blueberry yogurt and a blueberry muffin) and had it waiting for her on the high chair with Mickey Mouse Club House queued up and ready to go, so she could eat as soon we she woke up. Plunked her in the high chair – what does she do? Hands me the muffin and says, NO. I asked her if it could just sit on her tray while she ate- NO. (she did eat every bite of the yogurt…)

I think we are entering a weird place where she can’t verbalize what she wants, but she knows how to tell us what she doesn’t want.

Is this a phase? Or is this my new reality  – I don’t take kindly to so much negativity, LOREN.


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Dear Melissa and Darcie

Hope this finds you well. We want to inform you of a limited supply of specimens on donor ****.

We are notifying those of you who are already pregnant or have children by this donor in order to give you the opportunity to have a second child should you so desire. We will no be able to obtain more specimens in the future, however, so we may have a shortage if the demand exceeds the supply.

We also must inform you that, if you do choose to pre-purchase vials, we will not be able to provide refunds for any unused specimens, now or in the future for any reason. Should you later decide not to use vials that you have pre-purchased, we will, upon your written instructions, release you of ownership, further storage and financial responsibility.

If you want to reserve vials for future children, please contact us at ***-***-**** or ***-**-**** within the next two weeks.


**** ********


Got this letter last week.  Our plan has always been (and still is) to only have one child.  We really like that Loren can get all our attention and that we can afford to allow her to do things like swim lessons, gym, and music. If there were  two there’s no way that would be possible.  We agreed early on the only reason to deter from our original “singleton” plan would be if I had the overwhelming desire to have a pregnancy/biological connection.

To be honest, I don’t have the desire to be pregnant and I truly feel like Loren is 100% mine  – sometimes I swear she looks like me. However, this letter creates a sense of urgency (which I’m sure was the point, and at nearly $700 a vile who wouldn’t want to sell a bunch!) and finality that made me queasy.

Our decision is still firmly in place and in a few days I’ll forget about the letter. Today it’s on my mind.

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Uncle Erik may never be able to go home…according to Loren!

She has clung to him and had so much fun since he arrived! Yesterday we went to the Discovery Science Center because they are having Bubble Fest! It’s amazing and she was completely enthralled! She had fun exploring and playing on everything throughout the museum (if you would call it a museum!).

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Blah Glah Porcupine

Our 20 month old is so opinionated lately – but lets be honest, she probably gets it from me!

Reading books before bed time has become such a chore. She will not relax until we have read at least 2 (sometimes 3) books and she will not allow you to read anything but what she chooses. I know what you’re thinking – she’s a baby, but she’s strong, feisty and ridiculously cute. If you start to read a rejected book she just shakes her head and says “no” over and over again, while attempting to close the book.

Last night she was really tired, but really wanted that second book. Rather than sitting on my lap she wanted to lay her head on my shoulder and still see the pages. That was challenging – but we made it work.

She is also super opinionated about food. One day she will scarf down something and the next day spit it out.  She also really loves standing on the kitchen counter gazing into her cabinet to pick food.

She makes these little decisions slowly, with a great deal of thought and concentration! I would love to be inside that little head of hers, so I could better understand her process.

I think the worst part of her overly opinionatedness is that sometimes we just don’t understand what she wants. Often times she will grab my hand to lead me  somewhere, ramble something off (sounding slightly intoxicated) and throw up a bunch of gang signs (ok, it’s baby sign language…) – I just stand there staring at her – going “WHAT?!”, yell for Melissa (the sign language guru) and we have conversations like this:

Darcie: “I think Loren just said blah glah porcupine”

Mel: “Loren, what did you say?”

Loren: “blah glah porcupine”

Mel: “She said “She needs help, milk”.

Darcie: “Obviously”


On a different note, my new favorite words she says:

Boop (when you pick her up or put her down – boop)

Wheeeeeeeeeeee – in the car – she thinks her mama is a nascar driver!

Preeeeeety – mostly when looking at painted fingernails


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Age Appropriate

I’m often times very shocked about photos people post to Facebook, yes – bathroom mirror/duck lip photos are bothersome – that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about people who post photos of their naked kids!

Don’t get me wrong – California weather is mild, so Loren does not run around naked…ever. It might be a different case if it was 400 degrees all the time (I plan to wear a bikini the entire week we are in LA/MS this summer…that should spice up the conference a little…right!? HA). For that matter we took her shirt off at dinner time (at home) a few weeks ago because she was wearing white and eating blueberries (a fatal combination) and we both noted how weird it was to see her without a shirt on! What I’m saying is – short of her newborn photo session and a few bathtub photos when she was very little – naked photos do not exist.

I’m not judging (I promise!),  it’s just our personal preference! For me, I trust no one. I certainly don’t want some skeezey jerk getting his (or her…I guess) hands on my sweet child’s photo!

What do you think? Do you restrict what photos you post of your kids online? When do naked photos go from cute kid to inappropriate? (Ex: Loren’s swim school has huge family bathrooms/changing rooms – they all have signage that says: Nudity Prohibited for those 10 years and older).

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