I find it really interesting to just observe Loren sometimes. Watching those wheels turn is a really amazing thing.
Last week Melissa shared this story with me when I got home.
She and Loren had been on the floor playing with the Laugh and Learn Learning Kitchen (which has been a huge hit at our house for a long time).
Anyway, Melissa was showing Loren that you can put the square milk in the square slot, the triangle carrots in the triangle slot and the round tomatoes (or are they apples?) in the circle slot. Melissa would start the process and let Loren push it all the way through. Then, it was time for Loren to do it on her own. She tried, for a while, to put the square in the circle, or circle in the triangle, with no success.
So, in true, “I’m a baby know it all” fashion – she swung the refrigerator door open, tossed the milk in and slammed the door. As if to say “You guys are idiots…that was much easier”.
Melissa says we are just teaching her to “work smarter…no harder” from a very young age!
Day 30 – What is/are the most memorable questions or reactions you’ve gotten in regards to being a two-mom family?
This made me giggle a little. I recently started reading a blog called Radical Gay Family Agenda, I find it pretty funny…its just a man telling the story of how “radical” his little family is (i.e. “I sat beside a heterosexual family at dinner at a cute little eclectic restaurant with sidewalk seating. I could not believe they used a high chair and bib for their child just like we used to do with our child. There has to be some kind of conspiracy that they were copying our gay ways.”)
I view our family as no different than anyone elses. Yes, we have two moms, some have two dads, some have a mom and a dad, and some have a mom OR a dad…the fact is we all function in ultimately the same way.
That being said…I haven’t gotten a lot of questions about our family. My “friends” typically fall into two categories.
Category 1: If you’re happy, I’m happy I love you, now tell me about picking a donor.
Category 2: I know you’re gay but I’m trying to pretend you’re who I thought I knew in high school and that you aren’t married to a woman, and I’m certainly never going to broach the subject.(PS Jesus loves you…)
As you can imagine there aren’t many in category 2, while I cherish friendships from the past when someone announces “Hey Y’all I’m a lesbian” to everyone it sure does weed out the friends from the acquaintances really quickly!
It’s a little funny that I haven’t gotten too many questions because I’m truly like an open book. If you simply ask a question (and not come at me in an angry, critical, “what you’re doing is wrong” kind of way…) I’m more than willing to answer it!
Day 29 – What do you think about giving kids an allowance, and what chores do you or would you expect your child(ren) to help out with?
Well, Loren is almost 11 months and constantly on a path of destruction. So, she better hope we forget all of the picking up, diaper changing, and puke clean up we’ve done in the last 11 months or she may never get an allowance! I’ll be charging her back allowance for all the work we’ve done! I’m only kidding
I’m actually all for allowance. When I was in high school I lived with my grandparents. They thought I was there to clean the house, do yard work, and whatever else they could think of. There was no allowance…it was like me earning the right to live with them. I think a child has little responsibility. They didn’t ask to brought into this world after all. So, while I do want to teach Loren responsibility, I will also reward her for being responsible.
Day 28 – What size family do you come from, what size family do you want, and why?
I come from a pretty big family. I’m the oldest of four. I grew up with a huge assortment of cousins, who were like extra siblings. Maybe it’s southern culture…but we were always close to our aunts/uncles and our extended family. Hell, we often time made up aunts and uncles!
Melissa is the youngest child. She probably couldn’t name all of her aunts and uncles (her dad is one of like 12) and she sure as heck couldn’t name all of her cousins!
It’s funny that I’m the oldest, she’s the youngest and we had completely different childhoods, but we wholeheartedly agree on only having ONE child!
People give us a lot of flack, saying it unfair to Loren to not have any siblings blah blah blah. We don’t agree. There are lots of “only child” scenarios out there and they are A-OK!
Day 27 – Which movies or tv shows do you think are the most accurate portrayals of parenthood?
So, I’m sitting here trying to think of TV shows that I watch that have anything to do with parenting.
How I Met Your Mother
Big Bang Theory
NCIS (both versions)
Well, as you can see I apparently watch nothing that has anything to do with parenting…so I’ve got nothing here LOL
Day 26 – What is/are the best piece(s) of parenting advice you’ve gotten or can give others?
While we got a ton of useful information from others I can’t really remember any of it.
All I can remember is the crap people said that makes no sense:
Sleep now, because when the baby comes you’ll never sleep. Maybe I’m not built like everyone else but I do not have a sleep reservoir, and lets be honest…even if I had hibernated for the 9 months before Loren arrived it wouldn’t have been enough sleep to make up for parenthood.
She’s too skinny, you should feed her some cereal. No, she’s 3 months old and not ready for cereal. The doctor says she’s fine, Mamaw!
I truly did appreciate the good advice we received in the beginning. As a new parent it’s nice to know your friends and family have been where you are and have some insight. What I’ve really learned is that every baby is different, like REALLY different, so what works for you might not work for someone else. Or what other babies do, your kid might not! (ie…still no teeth!)
I think the best advice I’ve given is always regarding baby equipment. We LOVE our stroller…or skip the __insert useless baby item here__…
Day 25 – What did you want to be when you grew up? Why and/or how did that change over time?
I think everyone my age wanted to be a veterinarian or a marine biologist…what a cute little world we all lived in.
While I dont know if I’m where I will be forever, I definitely think working in higher education is for me, of course no one ever thinks…ya know I’m gonna work at a college when I grow up!
I would actually say the majority of my friends growing up became teachers or nurses.
Day 24 – What are your favorite activities to do without your kid(s)? (keep it clean!)
I’m not sure I even remember what this is like.
Melissa and I are at a hard place in parenthood where we long for quiet time together but we aren’t so much ready to dump Loren off with the Grandparents for more than a few hours…
In our dream world there’s this beautiful 24 hour period just to ourselves…but then we think about it and we miss her. This passes right?
So for now we have a meal…or run errands…MAYBE see a movie…Good Lord…we really do need to get out!
Day 23 – What were your favorite activities to do when you were a kid?
Well yesterdays post sort of touched on this.
When you think of the south you might think of the typical car in the front yard on bricks…well thats sort of what my childhood was like.
There was an old tractor that didn’t run that we LOVED to play on. Pretend we were driving, plowing the fields, and who knows what else!
There was an old row boat that I never actually saw in water…but always full of water. The thing about it being full of water meant that when summer hit it was full of tadpoles…literally thousands of tadpoles.
We found old buckets of paint and painted every tree we came across blue…
We played in the creek…and got in trouble because “Darcie dont you know there are snakes in the creek?”.
We played in an old barn…which was AMAZING. It had stalls, and a big ass loft…it was the perfect “clubhouse” for a bunch of kids!
Finally, we went ice skating. I know what you’re thinking…BS – there’s no ice skating in Mississippi. You’re right. But, for one winter there was an old hood to a truck that was in the woods (I would never let Loren play in the woods…I’m scared just thinking about it!) and in the early mornings it would have ice on it, so we would pretend we were ice skating.
At the time I’m sure I was just entertaining myself and thinking this is totally lame I would rather be ____insert something way cooler here____.
I’m not sure I would want Loren growing up like I did…it all seems a little dangerous for my sweet little girl! 🙂