>Mushy Momma becomes Bad Momma?

>Someone asked me this week if I LOVED motherhood.

I quickly replied…“does it make me a bad mom to say NO WAY??!!” Motherhood is hard and there is zero reward right now. The smiles are few and far between and lets face it they are just random muscle twitches at this point and the GIGGLES they are even further apart! She’s extremely demanding…she wants to eat NOW and she wants clean diapers NOW….she has no concern with what you might be in the middle of…say eating your own dinner!!

Don’t get me wrong I LOVE her….her peaceful sleeping face melts my heart. Even those accidental smiles and giggles make me smile and giggle but I would not classify any part of this as LOVING motherhood! I love her…but not how tired I feel, how much work she requires, or the fact that I was up HOURS before I needed to leave today…rather than my typical 35 minutes.

This morning we started our new “both moms are working” schedules. Mel is working 6am – 1pm and I’m working 8:45 – 5:15pm. Here’s how the morning went.

4:00am – Melissa gets in the shower and does as much as she can before LG wakes up
(The details of Melissa’s morning are fuzzy…as I only saw a few brief snippets through one blurry eye)
4:30am – Loren starts grunting and wakes me up
4:45am – Melissa takes Little Miss Grunty and feeds her
5:50am – Melissa brings Loren back to me…puts her in her swing.
6:15am – Grunting returns
6:25am – Put Loren in bed with me. She becomes a silent little angel (with a slight snore!)
7:00am – I get in the shower (Loren continues to sleep…she looks like a dot in our giant bed)
7:45am – Loren wakes up READY FOR FOOD NOW! (but evil momma made her get a clean diaper and clothes first!)
8:15 am – Loren spits up all over her clean clothes AND her mommas!
8:16am – Fills clean diaper with surprise! (the surprise was green…)
8:20am – Clean Diaper in place…Loren is swinging and watching her star mobile! (her favorite)
8:23am – She’s already back to sleep.
8:30am – I leave for work…without my breakfast!

I’ll say it again…I love her. It’s amazing that Melissa MADE her and I would do anything to protect her but babies are A LOT OF WORK. I realize that one day (hopefully sooner rather than later) I will LOVE motherhood…day 47 is not it.


4 thoughts on “>Mushy Momma becomes Bad Momma?

  1. >There is definitely a myth that motherhood is this magical, inspiring thing, that mothers constantly look at their clean, happy babies with teary eyes and that poopie diapers clean themselves.Obviously, not true.And I think there's a taboo against speaking about how this isn't true, how motherhood isn't always magical and it isn't always amazing. Your child can be magical and amazing 24/7 – that doesn't mean the act of caring for them is.Just my thoughts as a non-Mom who's seen a few of her friends become moms (too early) and see how hard it is…that it's not all unconditional love and cute giggles; and as a non-Mom who, thanks to seeing said friends go through motherhood, has decided to wait on it for a few more years until I have more patience and maturity…my biological clock has officially been put on snooze xD.

  2. >well said, it is a myth that few will admit. I love my kids with everything I have, but I do not always love being a mom. It's never not exhausting and you worry about them forever, and forget about ever being selfish again, cause it ain't happening. It is however worth every moment and I wouldn't give it up for anything (at least not at this stage, I might have at some other point(s)). You learn to remember the best moments, cry through the worst and hope for the best. Enjoy and hope you get to eat soon.

  3. >Just read this in a Newsweek article (http://www.newsweek.com/2010/09/22/why-i-went-crazy-when-my-son-started-preschool.html) and thought it fit this post rather well:When you get pregnant, everybody tells you your life is about to change, but what they should do is squeeze your cheeks hard until your eyes are staring deep into theirs and say, “Your life as you know it is over and it is never coming back, ever. From now on, it will take you 40 minutes minimum to leave the house. You will walk around second-guessing your every child-raising move and there will never be enough money. Plus, you will do it all to the soundtrack of Thomas and Friends and covered in vomit.” Everybody knows about the good stuff—the love, the gift of seeing a human being grow in front of your eyes, the sweet little voice saying “Mommy” 62,125,458 times a day. But the days you think your life has completely gone off the rails and you’re failing at a job you can’t quit, that’s the stuff they need to teach you about in Lamaze.

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