>Someone asked me this week if I LOVED motherhood.
I quickly replied…“does it make me a bad mom to say NO WAY??!!” Motherhood is hard and there is zero reward right now. The smiles are few and far between and lets face it they are just random muscle twitches at this point and the GIGGLES they are even further apart! She’s extremely demanding…she wants to eat NOW and she wants clean diapers NOW….she has no concern with what you might be in the middle of…say eating your own dinner!!
Don’t get me wrong I LOVE her….her peaceful sleeping face melts my heart. Even those accidental smiles and giggles make me smile and giggle but I would not classify any part of this as LOVING motherhood! I love her…but not how tired I feel, how much work she requires, or the fact that I was up HOURS before I needed to leave today…rather than my typical 35 minutes.
This morning we started our new “both moms are working” schedules. Mel is working 6am – 1pm and I’m working 8:45 – 5:15pm. Here’s how the morning went.
4:00am – Melissa gets in the shower and does as much as she can before LG wakes up
(The details of Melissa’s morning are fuzzy…as I only saw a few brief snippets through one blurry eye)
4:30am – Loren starts grunting and wakes me up
4:45am – Melissa takes Little Miss Grunty and feeds her
5:50am – Melissa brings Loren back to me…puts her in her swing.
6:15am – Grunting returns
6:25am – Put Loren in bed with me. She becomes a silent little angel (with a slight snore!)
7:00am – I get in the shower (Loren continues to sleep…she looks like a dot in our giant bed)
7:45am – Loren wakes up READY FOR FOOD NOW! (but evil momma made her get a clean diaper and clothes first!)
8:15 am – Loren spits up all over her clean clothes AND her mommas!
8:16am – Fills clean diaper with surprise! (the surprise was green…)
8:20am – Clean Diaper in place…Loren is swinging and watching her star mobile! (her favorite)
8:23am – She’s already back to sleep.
8:30am – I leave for work…without my breakfast!
I’ll say it again…I love her. It’s amazing that Melissa MADE her and I would do anything to protect her but babies are A LOT OF WORK. I realize that one day (hopefully sooner rather than later) I will LOVE motherhood…day 47 is not it.