>The Fog Rolled In

>I think the excitement, the newness, the panic and the overwhelmingness is starting to wear off.

I think for the last 26 days all of those things have kept me (us?) running at full capacity.

Yesterday I noticed a change. Around 2:30 pm I hit a wall. I was sitting at my desk at work, it’s been an extremely busy week and suddenly I felt like I was in a fog. My fear that I might have hit exhaustion was confirmed on the drive home. I didn’t get pissed at ANY drivers that cut me off or slowed me down, I wasn’t irritated when I just missed the green light, and I didn’t even sing along to radio…I just drove.

Part of me feels guilty. Like I should be enjoying all of this time…we are only 26 days in, how exhausted could I possibly be? When I got home Loren was fussy (gas…again) and she couldn’t get comfortable. I feel bad for her, it makes me want to cry (which I did a little of yesterday) but for the most part I remained in my fog.

Last night was a long night, more so for Melissa than me. She knew I was tired and took Loren to the living room every time she woke up (which seemed like 1000 times) to let me get as much sleep as possible.

I do feel a little better today, less foggy. I’m hoping yesterday was just a fluke and it’s not the new way life is…


5 thoughts on “>The Fog Rolled In

  1. >I don't know anything about all this since I'm not a momma, so all I can say is good luck, and me and S are always across the way if you need anything at all. Oh, and I know I've never actually hugged you, but I feel this post deserves internet *hugs*. =]

  2. >It's the new way life is, temporarily. It will improve, you will sleep again. Unfortunately newborns are not all bliss and wonder (another Hollywood fairytale) and as you now know are quite exhausting. It can't be explained, only experienced. 15 years from now, you'll be able to tell her laughingly how tough her early days were. Trust me on this one, mine are there now (and Jess even forgives me for the bright light). There were lots of tears in their early days and they survived (and thrived). Hang in there, and don't hesitate to ask for help or take it when it's offered. Enjoy the happy moments and don't feel guilty for any of the others. Also, don't forget to take some time for yourself and Mel when you can.

  3. >There are days like that but you will eventually get rest. At least there is two of you there nights to trade off duty. Another month or two and she will sleep until 7am and u will wake up panicked thinking something is wrong. :). Hang in there.

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