>The spanking debate…

>First let me tell you how excited I am that one week from today is our next ultrasound!!!! Hopefully I can start referring to Baby Cotton as a HIM OR HER!!!

Moving on…

Communication is one of our strong suits. We have no problem listening to each other’s logic and coming to a reasonable solution to the situation at hand. Prior to making the decision to start trying to have a baby we talked a lot about parenting techniques and the values we wanted to instill in our child (I told you we liked to be prepared). The spanking question is absolutely no different. The only exception is that I’m usually the more logical (Mel with all her book smarts!) one and therefore I usually win (not that it’s a competition…), I lost this one and I’m glad I did.

My argument was that I was spanked and I turned out ok (I think) and some situations just call for a smack on the tush (or the hand). I was by no means suggesting we beat our child, so keep reading before you get all crazy on me!

Mel’s argument started similar, she wasn’t spanked and she turned out ok. Of course her parents will quickly tell you that she was terrible child (“A child only a mother could love…”), so maybe they deserve sainthood for not spanking. At this point the initial argument is long gone and the more logical one has emerged. Spanking will just make our child fear us (umm…I totally feared the adults in my life…so maybe she’s right). Her second point is what made me change my mind, fear that we might take our anger out on the child and physically hurt him/her. I would never want to go in with the intention of spanking and end up actually hurting our kid.

I know you might be thinking “Do you think spaking doesn’t hurt?”, not exactly, I think spanking is meant to startle more so than physically hurt. My step dad spanked my little brother so badly he could barely walk (and he never spanked again) just the memory of that breaks my heart and confirms that Melissa is right, we will not spank.

We didn’t even spank our dog when we were training. If he was misbehaving we tossed a little big bag so that it would land near him, the noise would startle him. The dog eventually learned if I chew on your shoe the loud noise happens and so he quit chewing on shoes. You think we could train a baby with a bean bag? No?

Were you spanked? Will/Are you going to spank? Why or why not?

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6 thoughts on “>The spanking debate…

  1. >I was spanked, and worse, but mostly it was my mom doing the spanking. She was too scared to really hurt me, so it really didnt do anything. With a kid in my life, I wouldnt spank it because I think to change the world you have to start small =) But, mainly because I think that if I was angry enough to be mad at a child, that I would want to spank it, and coming from a place of anger, just isnt something good personally.

  2. >I think it's less about the actual spanking and more about just having some kind of discipline in place. IMO, the kid just needs to know that Mommy's word is the final word. I see way too many parents giving 2-year olds OPTIONS, or just giving in to appease the kid that shouldn't have been given the option of choosing something anyway.Example:Parent: What do you want to eat?Kid: I want chocolate cake for breakfast.Parent: You can't have that.Kid: WHAHAHAHAHAAAFAAAWWWWHHHHHHHHHHH.Parent: Ok, you can have it. LOL…extreme example, but hopefully you get the point.Signed,Non-parent I only have nephews, so ignore me 🙂

  3. >I actually agree. I think it's all about consistency. I watch super nanny! (do you hear all those actual parents laughing at us?)Parents seem to give up and give in so easily. Hopefully Melissa and I will be strong! We will be two against one after all!

  4. >Both my husband and I were spanked growing up though I think it was different in our homes. My mother was the one who did the spanking and it was always some time after I misbehaved. My mom would advise me that I would be spanked when we got home. It was torture knowing what awaited me when I got home. But because of the delay I know anger wasn't the source . . . still stung like a bitch though!As you know spankings began to occur in our household out of anger and frustration and now have been taken off the table. Mr. S used to just look at me like "BiT@% what else you got?!" He hates time outs because anything that keeps him from doing what he wants to do seems effective. Consistency is key fort sure.So far so good.

  5. >I was spanked as a child, and I don't recommend it. I think discipline is crucial, but there are other ways.And think about this: If you're not comfortable doing it in public (I definitely would not be okay spanking my child in public), why would you make it a regular practice in your child's life?

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