>Mississippi in the middle of…Thanksgiving.


Melissa and I are both a little stressed about our trip to Mississippi this year, which isn’t until Thanksgiving…so we’ve got many months of anxiety/nervousness to go.

Here’s a little background on why we are nervous:

  • I’m a chicken. My wonderful friend (who’s technically my great aunt) Michelle came out to dad’s family for me (I knew they would be furious)…while we were on our way to my dad’s funeral.
  • It went over like a ton of bricks. WAY worse than I thought it would. (Mel was practically a ghost…and I shouldn’t have expected any better)
  • My mom’s family LOVES Mel and all they want is for me to be happy. (And from what I can tell Mel’s family loves me!)
  • Mel is allergic to wheat.
  • She is dreading the possibility of cold weather.

So, since the last time we went to Mississippi we’ve gotten married and by the time we get there we’ll have a baby. My stress comes from prior events. Mel’s comes from the thought of accidentally poisoning herself by eating wheat or freezing to death in the tundra of Mississippi (eye roll).

I feel like we can prevent any accidental “wheating” and for the most part eat at home. We do control all variables when we cook it ourselves. I think she’s forgotten that Hattiesburg, MS (population 55,000 +) is a far cry from the city that my grandmother grew up in New Augusta (population 715); there are chain restaurants – that we know she can eat at. Did I mention we can cook at home? I think she’s envisioning outhouses and fire pits or something. So babe – you do not have to go out in a blizzard to pee and my mamaw has central heat and air. I just checked the average low in November is 45 and the average high is 70. So please calm down!!!

My stress is more family related. The trip is necessary because we haven’t been since dads funeral (August 2006) and it’s much easier for the three of us to hop on a plane and go introduce Baby Cotton to my family than it would be for my massive family come see us. (Picture it: 30 people in our two bedroom apartment!) I realize that I have to go see my dad’s parents. I am aware that they are getting older and I should be the bigger person and just go see them (even though they don’t call or write or even care to for that matter). Here’s my problem, I have a family and I’m far from ashamed of who I am. I am the happiest I could have ever imagined myself being and wouldn’t change a thing (well except winning the lottery…I’d take that into my realm of happiness…please?) So, do I bother taking baby Cotton to visit or do I abandon Mel and the Baby with my other family and go pretend all is great and well. Regardless of my choice, it’s not going to go well. I’m leaning toward sparing Mel the drama and sucking it up alone. I’m going to hope that my cousin (who’s like my sister) will go with me, they do like her much better after all. GAH – I don’t know.

What I know for sure is that I’m very thankful for my little family. I’m thankful for my mom’s family for loving me (and Mel) no matter what! I’m thankful for Michelle for taking the direct force of the heat. I’m thankful for Mel’s family and the fact they will love Baby Cotton no differently than any other baby! And of course for my amazing group of friends who can’t wait to be aunts and uncles!

I know Mel and I will be great moms and I know we will teach Baby Cotton to be more accepting and loving than “those who must not be named”.

Whew – that was a little deep for a Monday.

Have you voted in the “boy or girl” poll? Only TWO MORE WEEKS until the ultrasound!!!


13 thoughts on “>Mississippi in the middle of…Thanksgiving.

  1. >It's not that she wouldn't be willing to do it, she couldn't careless about them. I just don't know if I want to put her through it. I have a thick skin towards them (and honestly, most of there crap goes on behind the backs of those they like to bitch about…) it's my obligation ya know?And the baby probably wouldnt. They won't view it as my child because we aren't biologically connected. They are cold/heartless. (Thank God Uncle Joel doesn't read my blog…he'd be pissed i said that about his parents.)

  2. >If they are as bad as you say then why bother with them. You will just hurt yourself and Mel and give them the satisfaction of doing it. If you deep down want their approval, forget it, it won't happen.

  3. >I ask myself that too, why bother. I'm definitely not looking for their approval or acceptance. I frankly don't care what they think.Part of me understands they are old and will never change their ways – they've been this way for 60+ years after all.Maybe I want to feel better knowing I saw them before they die? Maybe I want to show them that I'm a happy successful adult no matter what they think about my lifestyle?I just don't know. I do know it's a lot easier to come up with a solution on paper. I guess we will see how it turns out come November.:) thanks for your thoughts!

  4. >Darcie, I can solve your problem. Stay home and have Thanksgiving with us Love you and Melissa and can't wait for the baby no matter what you name it.

  5. >It's very tempting! But I do want to see my mom,siblings, and the rest of that side of my family and my Mamaw of course(even more so now that she's been sick…)Maybe you guys should pack up the RV and meet us in MS!

  6. >Well maybe! I honestly don't plan on spending much time there. 7 days to see all my family/friends for the first time in 4 years doesn't allot much time for each…I have no idea who will be watching the animals for this trip…

  7. >Best of luck whatever you decide. Family shouldn't be about obligation. It took me a long time to realize that the family I choose is what matters. The ones that are just related don't deserve my time and effort and I've taken heat for it, but I've also gotten over it (for the most part). The people who love you and care about you are the ones that matter, regardless of where you find them (neighbors, school friends, partners, etc…) and those are the ones that deserve the best of you.

  8. >You're right…and i wish i didn't feel like it was an obligation!I just don't want any regrets once they are gone…and i probably wont decide until we land in New Orleans!

  9. >Just remember that you have plenty of friends and family that love all three of you! I think that you should go see the Millers (I still think of them as a third pair of grandparents), but don't put Mel and the baby through any unnecessary stress. Totally use Michelle as a buffer, if possible. And remember, Lauren is always a soldier on your side.

  10. >You became a Cotton because the Miller's didn't deserve Mel. I don't understand why they deserve you. I agree with Rae about choosing our families based on who cares about us and treats us like we deserve to be treated. Blood means nothing if you don't act like family. Having severed ties with my dad's side of the family for similar reasons 10 years ago, I can tell you I no longer feel any obligation to them. Whether they live forever or die tomorrow, they didn't treat me like family then and therefore they don't deserve to know about me now. The bottom line is that they are lucky to have you in their lives and if they don't get that soon, then maybe they shouldn't be lucky enough to see you in the future. Mamaw loves you to pieces. Your time may be better spent loving on her than merely "dealing" with the millers.

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